Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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