So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
