She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
