Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
