I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
