wanna go halves on a baby?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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