dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
