no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
