You're earring is so big in my mouth
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Is it penis luge time yet?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
