I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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