I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
