Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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