why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
