where am i from again
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
