i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
