So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
