Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I am naked and annoyed.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
