i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
