I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
