its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
