Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
