Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
