Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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