I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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