GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
