I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
