all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
