i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
