why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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