HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
