dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
