God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
