Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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