if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
