it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
