dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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