I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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