Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Found your dick twin last night
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
