I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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