Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
