great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
