I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
