HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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