Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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