Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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