there's paper in my vomit.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
