Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
