but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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