OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
