She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I want a musical about memes.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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