Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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